and witness what’s there. The once tadpoles of emotions that are now lions that trallop from one side of my skull to another. Their magnificence is something that I have only seen and know not how to explain. Each is branded with a minute scar of pain or a signature of effervescent happiness. The vastness of their bodies and shine of their presence is something that one can stand frozen and watch for eons as that gallop across my thoughts. Those are the inflating feelings that float with an eminent purpose throughout my head, but they have no way to be exerted in a way he can grasp.
I wish he knewwhat I felt.
I wish I knew the path to take to guide him to my thoughts so he can see the level of prestige he attains. I want to vanquish his refusal to accept this.
Understand, get that you are king of every atom of my being. Accept your throne.
come in rapid waves, unstoppable and irreversible. Approaching subconsciously, and unrecognized trodding deep in my mind hidden from foresight. Then it pounces, claws dug far into the mushy texture of my brain, attached, pain flowing onto my stream of thoughts, not preventable by any means. It is this point when I render any efforts to keep the floodgates locked.
It's like my thoughts are loaded into a gatling or dispersed into the wandering realms of space.
They won’t stop swimming. All the thoughts, lap after lap. They won’t stop running, lap after lap. They won’t stop crying, their whimpers unceasing. Their smiles constant. The welling of pride at hypothetical scenarios with him is inevitable. Their clammoring jaws fervently taking flesh from my brain cell walls.
In opposition: the trance of nothingness. My mind wallows aimlessly within itself. Sounds enter, but the registry of information is empty. There lives a profound contentness that encases the abyss.
Which is beneficial because I find myself caged in this realm often.